20 - ARE YOU TRYING TO SWINDLE ME?

- Copyright Infringement, Copyrighting material, Registering it with WGA


TO COPYRIGHT
go to your local public library get a form TX and send $30 certified mail to:

Copyright Office
Library of Congress
101 Independence Avenue, S.E.
Washington, D.C. 20559-6000



TO REGISTER WITH THE WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA (WGA)

send your material in a 8 1/2" x 11" manilla envelope. Make sure your registration includes the title and writer's names. Include your social security number, number and your address. The fee is $20. After you send it, they'll send back a receipt as prove of your purchase and you must save this.

WGAw
Registration Department
7000 W. 3rd St.
Los Angeles, CA 90048

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19 - TYPES OF COMEDIANS

- A list of various types of comedy


Blue Comedy - Some your the term "dick jokes". Sex, race and sexual orientation.
Character Comedy - Stereotypes
Dark Comedy - Death, Drugs, Disturbing Subjects
Deadpan Comedy - Telling joke without emotion
Improvisational Comedy - Comedy that is being performed with being planned out
Insult Comedy - Insults at the audience or other performers
Observational Comedy - Things observed in everyday life
Physical Comedy - Body movements and gestures
Prop Comedy - Props and Everyday used objects
Shock Humour - Telling jokes which are taboo, or doing crazy things
Surreal Comedy - humour with bad logic and and weird situations
Topical Comedy - Using current events and news for jokes
Wit Comedy - Using puns and language syntax

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18 - IS THIS SARAH CONNER?

- Comedians workout too

A workout for a comedian is daily. You want to get into habit of doing this habit every single day no matter what until it becomes second nature.

First grab a notepad and a pencil or pen and a piece of paper. You must watch comedy sketches or late-night comedy shows. Critique the jokes you think are not funny and watch how the comic uses their body in telling jokes. Also look at how the comic conduct himself after each failed joke and successful jokes.

Secondly, act as if a writer for a television show. Write jokes you think can make the airwaves on your favorite comedy show. Go for more than one and vary them from topic comedy to dark comedy. This should get you in the routine of what IS funny and what IS NOT funny. You may also want to write large sketches or whole shows to get you in a rhythm of telling a good story.

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17 - THAT'S A NO NO

- Things a comedian should never do

Do Not Insult the audience in a very harmful racist, sexist, homophobic way
Do Not stay longer than your set.
Do Not steal material from other comics.
Do Not say you think you're not funny, people will believe you
Do Not say they can go home now, they'll believe you
Do Not get mad about money. This attitude will ruin your image.
Do Not go into comedy only for the money. Chances are there won't be much.

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16 - I JUST SAID THAT!

- Fresh Material, like milk or something

Make it a regular practice to write new material every month. I don't care if it's the best joke in the world.Never say it over a month, record it and play it to yourself if you like it so much. After the month ends, through away all your old material and forget about. FORGET ABOUT IT. With a clear head and fresh start you will alway be one step ahead of your competition as well as challenging yourself so your routines never become dull and played out.

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15 - PIMPS UP. HOES DOWN.

- Pimping yourself

You don't want to whore yourself exclusively to one venue. Do not perform more than once a week and never perform twice a month in the same venue. Never perform over three times in the same city. And Never perform more than ten times in a region in three months.

If you whore yourself you will quickly wear out your welcome. Even your most dedicated fans can't spend money every two days to see you. And even if they do, do you really have enough fresh material to satisfy them?

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14 - DO YOU FEEL LUCKY PUNK? WELL DO YA?

- Competition, Booking, Taking a hit

The comedy business for stand-ups is very competitive and will take the average professional years before they can do this full time. Don't care if you are not booked at first. All owner's want to know is that you can bring in a crowd so they can sell more alcohol. So go to the free open-mics and bring your best material. This will build your name up. As you get well known start to pass your business cards to every person interested and tell them to spread the word. Word of mouth is the best promotion because it is real. After a month or two you will eventually have a small following.

Befriend a co-comedian and ask the owner if you can have a date to perform. You want to make a good first impression so you will want to take a hit financially on your first headliner, invest in buying a whole lot of tickets for friends and family and offer discounts to regular who come see you. You will take a loss but the venue will be packed and they will have spare money to buy drinks, so everyone wins. After this the owner will be begging for another performance.

This will be the time where you work on a press kit and promo package to send to a booking agency or entertainment agency which will help you on your quest to become a professional. It will usually take several years to become a headlining act, so make sure you have several partners in crime in your comic ring of friends to help you perform.

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13 - EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

- Expose Yourself to the world - domain, hosting, business cards

If you made the right and only decision you will continue. Now with new material written, you will put yourself online. Do not go to some social networking site like myspace or facebook. Invest $10 and buy a domain for yourself like if you're a depressed, skinny, jewish girl let it be something we can remember like "www.Jenny-Skinny-Jew.com".

You will now want a hosting site for your domain, so with anothe $10 buy hosting and this will allow you to edit your page as much as possible. If new to making websites go with a hosting site that offers free start-up template therefore all you have to do is punch in your info. Your brain will hurt a lot less this way.

The next step is to buy yourself a stack of a couple hundred business cards which you can get at any local Office Depot, Office max, Staples or Kinkos. Put your name, email address (you do have one right, if not goto gmail.com or yahoo.com), your newly created website, a subtitle under your name as comedian and a contact number for business (use a cell, not your house)

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12 - GAMEOVER. DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE? INSERT 25 MINUTES

- Choosing whether to continue. Are you broke or can you spend it?

After your first open mic session you must now make a decision on whether you will continue comedy or not. This can be in either writing, stand-up, audio, or any type of other media.

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11 - HOME SWEET HOME

- Family, Friends and Local Venues

The best places to start doing stand-up comedy is right in your backyard. Literally. Don't take you material out just yet. Practice on your friend and family and get their honest opinion on which jokes they like and which ones they think sucked. Practice on about three different family/friend audiences or more until you have a variety of responses. Use your judgement to pick out the best joke. You will now want to test your material on a crowd that doesn't know you. Local comedy clubs in your regions are your best bet. Look in local newspapers in the cities around you on the happening and lifestyle sections and check out where free open mics for comedies are.

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10 - PULL MY FINGER

- Things Comedians do (same stuff kids do to piss you off)

Free-associate - Comedian do this in conversation. You can talk to them on one thing and then they will go off in multiple tangents and never stay to the topic seriously.

Not Self Conscious - Comedians do not care whether you like or hate them as long as they can make you laugh, when telling jokes put yourself in the joke and do not be modest, really embarrass yourself.

They paid to see you - they actually want you to succeed and not fail because they spent money on you.

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9 - YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY

- Using things that can happen in your daily life as jokes. Like defecating

Things like losing keys, wallets, money, girlfriends, wives, husbands, dogs, cats, kids are all things the audience can relate to. Think of as many things the audience can relate to and use them for your jokes. For impressionist, think of popular people who have distinct personalities or voices and exaggerate them and put them in awkward setting where a famous person might do something he or she is known for.

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8 - SHAFT! HE'S A BAD MOTHA (shut yo mouth)

- Style, Personality, you know that old bag

Every comedian has his or her own style. Some are self-defeeating, some mock the world, some make impressions, some tell personal stories, some use gimmicks and props, but usually comedian mix in a couple. Develop the style you want to use by incorporating what you are a just a little uncomfortable doing so that you get a rush from the crowd to keep it fun for yourself. Your style will often reflect your personality.

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7 - ONCE UPON A TIME

- Building up a story, Make it personal

As you tell your story, include things that actually happened to you mixed in with your fable. Make it as personal as you can and build them around your personality.

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6 - OH MY GOD. BECKY LOOK AT HER BUTT.

- Conversing with the crowd

What you are doing as a comedian is having a conversation without someone replying, so don't be afraid to point out things in an audience member to the crowd. Tell a hippie he's a hippie, tell a tall guy he's tall. Pre-write jokes about people you may encounter in a crowd so you have material on the fly. You will want to use these in intervals of your stories you tell.

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5 - YO MAMA IS SO....

- Joke research

Contrary to popular belief you cannot make up jokes on the top of your head in a couple minutes. Your jokes must be well thought out. You must write much more material than you can actually use.

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4 - BABY, CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?

- Audience forgiveness

Face it, Jay Leno is great but fails atleast half the time with corny jokes. The audience will forgive you every single time as long as it's not 100% of the time. Your little failed jokes are what makes you human. When your joke fails, laugh at it yourself, shrug your shoulders and move on. Vary your jokes as to put ones you are not sure will get a laugh next to sure-shot jokes.

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3 - NOTHING TO FEAR EXCEPT FEAR ITSELF

- The fear of failure is why most of us don't even wanna try

No one wants to tell a joke with a lukewarm response or pathetic joke that no one gets. Think of it like baseball. The best comedians fail to make audience members laugh 2 out of every 3 times and that is considered great. In baseball they would call that a .333 average which is actually pretty good. This is what you want to aim for. On jokes they know may fail, they will have back-up jokes connected to the same joke so that one eventually hits. The illusion that is created by doing this is that they succeed every time, even though the reality is they don't.

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2 - SIX FEET UNDER

- Is the comedy scene dead now?

Comedians in around the 1980's started to get greedy, and it tainted the sport just like any other form of entertainment. They demanded ridiculous amounts of money and there were too many venues, not enough good talent. The owners balked at the stand-up's prices so they invited no-so-good amateur talent and booked them as headliners. People started to notice and less people came. In order to get their venue's full they started to drop the cover fee to free and with that came more people and even worse talent. The market demand for comedians dropped to reasonable prices at the mid 90's to the turn of the 2000's and are just getting close to where they once were.

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1 - WHAT IS A STAND-UP COMIC

- Were you dropped on your head at birth or something?

This is a person who is on stage by him or herself in a bar, club or theater setting. They will tell multiple stories and one-liners in an act which can vary from five minutes to an hour. Material is written and planned over the course of months to years in perfection for the perfect 5 minute set. The equipment used is a single dynamic mic. Comedy is one of the hardest arts to master as it relies on a multitude of other people and popularization and consistently great audience responses for the rest of a comedians life. The object of comedy is to win over the audience in laughter.

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